Four years ago today, my brother, Benjamin Lee Pittman, died, at 4:40 p.m., as I sat beside him in the bed holding his hand. I can still see the digital clock on the headboard flipping over to 4:40 as he took his last breath.

For myself, this is always a rough day.  I suppose a part of me will always be there in that moment of time. It is impossible for anyone to really understand the devastating impact such a thing has on someone unless they have experienced it themselves.  There IS no "getting over it" , like a loved one's death is a disease to get over. 

You are left in agony over such a deep loss, it may not be apparent to others, as the grieving person learns to hide the pain from others just to get along in what is left of their own life. But it is there, nonetheless.  Certainly some people seem to be able to 'bounce back' from such a loss, but most people don't,  and I suspect that those who seem to be able to bounce back are just better actors in most cases.

To others who have also lost loved ones, I send you symbolic hugs, knowing that there are no words that can ever come close to easing the pain.  Just know that you are not alone, and as life goes on for those of us left behind, there will be good days and bad ones, and just putting one foot in front of the other is sometimes all we can do.  And if that is the case, then that is okay, too.

 There are no real 'rules' for the grieving process.  Sometimes people are never able to be who they were before the loss, sometimes people do find a way back to some semblance of normalcy. But no one is ever quite the same.  Find your own way, try to focus on as much of the positive as you can, and just breathe, as you take your steps along the journey of your own life.

To my beloved brother, I miss you, love you with all my heart, and look forward to seeing you again someday.  Til then, rest in peace, my brother